Children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they are engaged to be married. The planning for the mother of the bride and groom outfits commences once the rush of the amazing news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be matched to the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers coordinating their gowns has been a pattern for several years. Attending other weddings, reading marriage magazines and visiting bridal dress department stores can start the journey. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when beginning the search may also be a good idea.

My son recently was asked to attend as best man in in one of his friend's weddings. The mother of the groom was disconcerted during most of the planning stages for the wedding day because not all her ideas were put to use. The bride's mother tried to engage the groom's mother in the process of shopping for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked pleasing and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The groom's mother chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress style as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different color. Unfortunately, the outfit was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most beautiful days she would ever have feeling sorry and absurd.

A few thoughts. When shopping for a mother of the bride or groom suit, courteously ask the bride if she has anything in particular in mind and if possible, invite her along for fittings and to help select what she may want you to wear. The bride should have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the dress she prefers is unflattering or cost is an issue.

Department stores have special mother of the bride and groom departments. Keep in mind you don't have to choose your gown from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal wear for certain times of the year and specific occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a suit in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has chosen something exclusive in a particular store, you may want to seriously consider her choice. If price is an issue, remind her of that fact and look for something very close. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the order of the day. This is the bride and groom's special occasion and it requires cooperation and support from the mother of the bride and groom. Once you feel the love and happiness on this day, every squabble will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

The wedding my son was in made me recognize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will support them. I will offer advice if it's requested, hold my counsel if it's not. I will even allow them input on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not disconcert them as their friend was embarrassed. Keeping in mind that this is the bride and groom's day and not anyone elses may be the most valuable lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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